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’And yew thought yew knew about every plucking thing.Unexpected Visitor!A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work.His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listens in.“My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight! Why the hell did you bring him home for?”Husband answers, “Because he’s thinking of getting married.”This one is compliments of PepereOn their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder if they could possibly get married in Heaven.When St. Peter arrived, they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out.” and he left.The couple sat and waited for an answer for a couple of months. While. She kept listening intently, making no remarks.“So the thing is, I do like you, and I am interested in you, and I want to get to know you better. But we’re not going to be boyfriend and girlfriend, at least not until sometime after school starts.”A small smile crossed her mouth and her eyes lit up slightly, as if she’d heard all this before.“And you’ve already heard all this, so you aren’t surprised?”“Kind of,” She admitted, not looking at me.“I hope you’re not disappointed, or feel like I led you on last night.”Then her eyes were on mine, and her little smile grew.“You did nothing wrong last night,” she shook her head slowly. “I was a little disappointed in myself, but you didn’t do anything wrong.”“OK?” I said with a shrug. “Why were you disappointed?”“I had things planned out, and you actually showed up, and I could hardly contain myself or stick to the plan.”“What was the plan?”“To give you a little taste, and have you begging for more.”“Well, um, you did that quite well,” I.
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